i've got thee blues :(

i am tired of being taken advantage of at work. i work hard all day long trying to please everyone and do the best i can do and and then i  still get bitched at by my boss and the sales manager when everything is not done perfectly. get a freakin clue people!! i have enough work for two people, but will you hire someone else to help out with office administration??? noooooooo!! so quit making me feel inadequate and like scum because i can't fit 16 hours of work into an 8 hour day!!!

so my food pattern was a bit strange today.. i don't think i ate too much but it a bit of a blur so good thing i did remember what i ate so i can account for it now..

banana
starbucks tall skinny peppermint mocha

smart ones frozen meal - turkey w/mashed potatos
cup of red/green grapes

small fruit smoothie - banana, greek yogurt, mixed berries, kiwi, orange juice, honey

1serving weight watcher pita w/spinach artichoke dip
1 cup of baked french fries w/ 1 tsp tartar sauce for dip
1/2 of a loose meat sandwhich on a roll w/1 slice melted cheddar cheese
(loose meat is ground hambuger w/tomato sauce mixed with onion and bell peppers) I had actually made me a whole sandwhich but exercised some portion control and put the other half in the fridge.

with the pressure of my work bringing me down, i have really been in the dumps this week. the weather has not been helping either. it has been cold, freezing, snowing, pouring rain, windy, cloudy gray, with minimal sun breaks. temperatures hovering at about 35-40 degrees.. lovely :(
plus the change of daylight savings is still making me hella tired all day. hopefully by next week i will be fully adjusted. we shall see.

so i weighed myself this morning and lo and behold was down 3 POUNDS from monday. that was my great moment of the day. but i can't celebrate too much, i still have a long road ahead. next weigh in will be next monday. i figure mondays and thursdays are good weigh in days.

also i am bummed to admit that there was no workout tonight. i really wanted to go to zumba class but i was cutting it real close on time and also the class costs 5 bucks and i didn't have any cash on me. i need to get to a workout for sure tomorrow. a. i need to burn mass calories b. exercise helps me to be in a better mood. well okay i am done blabbing for tonight. will be checking in with you all tomorrow. good night

ROUND AND ROUND

SO I AM PRETTY TIRED TONIGHT SO I AM GOING TO MAKE IT QUICK AND JUST LIST THE ITEMS I CHOWED DOWN ON TODAY... WELL IT WASN'T THAT BAD.. LOL

LUNA BAR
4 MINI PRETZELS

6'' SUBWAY TURKEY SANDWHICH ON WHEAT BREAD W/ MUSTARD, VEGGIES, CHEDDAR CHEESE AND PEPPERONI
1 SERVING SIZE BAKED BBQ LAYS CHIPS
DIET PEPSI

SMALL SERVING OF MARIE CALLENDAR'S MAC N' CHEESE W/ CUT UP POLISH SAUSAGE
SMALL APPLE
1 SERVING LEAN CUSINE PITA W/ SPINACH AND ARTICHOKE DIP
3 SMALL PEANUT BUTTER CHOC CHIP COOKIES
1 SUGAR FREE JELLO PUDDING CUP W/ LIGHT WHIP CREAM


I WAS PRETTY EXHAUSTED TODAY AND WORK WAS STRESSFULL AS PER USUAL. I DID NOT DO ANY EXERCISE EITHER BUT I BELIEVE I OVER DID IT A BIT LAST NIGHT WITH MY POWER WORK OUT BECAUSE MY LOWER BACK WAS HURTIN FOR CERTAIN ALL DAY TODAY. WILL GET BACK TO THE WORK OUTS TOMORROW.

SO I HAVEN'T WEIGHED MYSELF SINCE MY FIRST WEIGH IN ON MONDAY.. TOMORROW BEFORE SHOWER I WILL STEP ON THAT NASTY BOX AND GIVE MY REPORT OF HOPEFULLY A LOSS TOMORROW NIGHT.

no one puts baby in the corner..

day 2 and day from hell on top of that.. i had that gut feeling that today was going to suck eggs when i kept getting all red lights on the hwy 99 when i was just less then a mile away from work. i ended up being almost 5 minutes late. i stopped and got starbucks ..they made my coffee way to hot and did not offer me a sleeve.. when i got into work my boss went bat-shit crazy on me bitching that my "schedules were a mess" and that i need to ignore all my other work and get them done. i have about had it with being treated like a robot so i will be looking for another job. i don't need to be spending extra $$ in gas everyday and driving more miles then i should just to be reprimanded every day at work when all i do is work my ass off to do the best job that i possibly can. anyhoo this is what i have eaten today so far~

tall skinny peppermint mocha (sbux)
banana
luna bar
lean cusine
small apple
1 slice sourdough toast w/ apple butter jam
1 slice of cheddar cheese
handful of bbq potato chips.. (whoops) but i am about to do 1 1/2 hours zumba so i will  burn those cals!!

i will not let this day get me down.. i have bigger goals and dreams to accomplish.. when i get skinny i will be beautiful all over.. my old boss may be thin but she has to live with her face. LOL

(additional).. so zumba actually turned out to be only an hour tonight but the instructor was so bomb.. she kicked my inner and outer thigh's ass!!  i powered through that workout like a boss.

i am having another lean cusine for dinner and a sugar free chocolate jello pudding cup w/ light whip cream for dessert. there is nothing wrong with eating 2 lean cusines in a day, mainly due to the fact that they are perfectly portion controlled and no matter how hard i try to portion control a serving a hamburger helper.. i always go for that 2nd serving because it is sooooo delicious but not condusive for weight loss. if you eat a lean cusine, once it's gone it is gone! goodnight until tomorrow.

keep feeling fascination

good evening everyone. today was basically my "day one" again of starting "my program" as i like to call it. so i weighed myself this morning and i recorded the weight on my separate note pad.
the food i ate today was
   ~breakfast~                                               
a cup of black tea                      
luna bar
banana
cutie orange

     ~lunch~
1 can of clam chowder

    ~snacks~
apple
1 slice sourdough toast w/ apple butter jam
small leftover piece of steak

     ~dinner~ 
lean cusine
           
     ~dessert~
sugar free choc jello pudding w/light whip cream
90 cal chewy oatmeal raisin quaker granola bar

i also did one hour of zumba exercise today and drank some water. need to work on drinking more water though. going to weigh myself tomorrow morning. i am hoping today's extra lbs was just due to water weight at this time of the month :/ audios until tomorrow.

i am serious!!

so hello, basically i am making this blog to serve as a goal and accountability step to my continued battle of the bulge. i have a spent the majority of my life on diets, counting calories, obsessing about my weight, being self-conscious, wearing clothing that cover my butt at all times, etc.


my main problem is that i heart food way too much. i eat when i am happy. i eat when i am sad. i eat when i am stressed. i eat when i am mad. lol, i am starting to sound like Dr. Suess, but that is the truth of the matter.


from the very start of my young age, i always felt 'different' from the other little girls because i always seemed to have that excess of baby fat that never seemed to detatch itself from body. i carried that feeling of 'difference' all the way through elementary, jr. high, and high school.


finally a miracle occured. i got skinny! right at the end of my senior year, all of my weight seemed disappear. i now realize that i was no way near toned by today's standard of fitness, but at age 19, i was 119 pounds and that was all i cared about. i got my first job before i graduated high-school and stayed at a good weight up until my mid 20's. of course when i was at my skinniest i always felt fat (but that is another story).


it was about the time i turned 25, i got my first sit-down job (i had always been doing cashier/retail jobs which required me to stand and move around all day). it was basically all downhill from there. the weight slowly but surely started to creep up on me before i even realized what was going on. by the time i had turned 30 i had reached a very high embarassing 185 lbs. in 2000 i decided to try Weight Watchers. i was very impressed. i ended up losing about 25 pounds and kept it off for about 4 years. but once again, those nasty pounds found their way back to my body and then some.


i have spent my 30's in misery. for the past 5 years i have tipped the scales at a little bit over the 200 mark and i had told myself it would never happen. but it did :(  i am only 5'3" tall.


today is March 10, 2012. on Novermber 20, 2012 i will be turning 40.. yes 40, the BIG FOUR OH!! i have got to make some serious changes in my life if i want to rid myself of this excess baggage and get the body that i deserve to have. if jennifer aniston and j-lo can be fit and fab at 40, then so can i. there are exactly 254 days for me to get to the goal weight of my dreams. i think 8 months and 10 days is a reasonable amount of time for me to get to this goal.


starting tomorrow, i will be blogging about my daily fight to win in losing. i will be charting my exercise and my food intake. i will be relying on tips that i learned in Weight Watchers as well as any other information that i find on the net. i have many challenges to over come. i still have a sit down job (that is very stressful, btw). i have co-workers that love to eat. i have a long commute back and forth to work (so that is more sitting), i live with a man that can eat ANYTHING and not gain weight. these are just a few of my daily demons.


i was also diagnosed with being hypo-thyroid. this means that my metabolism is slower and it will take me longer to lose the weight compared to someone with a normal metabolism. (lucky me). i do take thyroid medication to keep my metabolism at bay, but it is still not as easy to lose.


i am putting this out there for the world to see because i need to keep myself in check and accountable. i am sick of failing. epic failing is more like it. no more. i am getting back on track and if you care to join me in this journey and cheer me on i will be forever grateful :)